Gossip Girl

Yes, the show is as addictive as a string of pearl necklaces by Chanel. It's the television equivalent of creme brulee - toothsome, delicious, and very, very expensive. But most people would agree that the one character we all love to hate is the eponymous Gossip Girl - the silky-voiced narrator who deals the devastating dish on these Upper East Side hotties (as she would no doubt put it).

Now, when it's the beautiful people who are the target of her ire, we don't care so much. But real-life Gossip Girls who don't use the Internet? Admit it, we all know at least one of them, and let's face it, we ALWAYS avoid her (ubiquitously a 'her') calls, texts, and plans to do Sunday brunch at Pastis. Real live Gossip Girls are just mean people. In a nutshell. And no-one likes mean people. Because, as fun as it may be to hear the latest on what P. wore to X Club and whether she really made out with S. in the corner, it always begins to pall after a little while. And I'm not talking about funny little tidbits, I'm talking full-on, mean-spirited, vicious rumor-mongering. Think Mean Girls, but five years later. Aren't we just a little too old for all this? Not to mention, you'd always be wondering (even as you laugh with her over A.'s latest fashion faux pas), what she was saying about YOU. You see, no-one, and I mean no-one, escapes the sights of our dear GG. Yes, even as you walk away from her, she IS texting someone the ugly details of exactly how fat your bum looks in that new high-waisted skirt you bought.

My solution? Cut her off at the source. Giggle and gossip all you want about how R. broke up with D. over B. But the moment that GG calls you and begins to bitch about how D. so totally deserved what she got? Let that be the moment you press IGNORE CALL and strike an anonymous blow for D. And for yourself.